One Day

 

One day, I will have the pieces to my world.

With the colour of my choice, in the shape of my heart.

One day, I will have few words that will do more.

One day, I’ll have a world of my own.

Made with pieces of my spirit that was once free

One day, I will live in a world that I make for me.

 

One day, my parents will beam in genuine pride,

One day, I will know my friends who I can count on my side.

One day, I shall smile, so brightly, that everything else smiles too

One day, I will have the freedom of choice

freedom to choose the pieces to my world, to make it mine and more complete.

 

One day, sure could be today;

but freedom is less understood, yet spoken about too freely.

” I need to be free”-“I wish to be free”-

I may even have courage to be so-

But freedom comes with time and a price- that only a few can afford.

 

But one day, I will have the pieces to my world-

Its a day I work for, each day-

I’ll be blessed with a freedom of choice, that I am told I always have-

It be a day of freedom, for which I would be able to pay.

 

By Sonia Agarwal

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For the first time

It wasn’t for the world to see,

It didn’t source from another being,

It wasn’t big, broad and white,

It was neither loud nor “right”.

 

Just enough to make her skin glow,

Genuine, only for her heart to know.

Shining through her eyes, creasing her wrinkled brow.

 

She had followed no religion, flagged no mountains,

She hadn’t won any fights, or any crowds.

She had done nothing off the ordinary.

For her warm skin to rose-

 

But In that moment of careless bliss,

A sonnet, for the first time in all,

I saw her smile, like she had never before.

 

By Sonia Agarwal

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PING!

 

I saw a man hunch over his laptop,

With his eyes fixed on his 13”  screen.

Blinking his dry eyes, scratching his splitting hair,

His fingers scavenging in the empty tin- hoping to find something there.

 

A phone went ringing;

It could be his morning alarm from the day before. 

He pulled out a blackberry, and soon after his iphone.

 

Hundreds of unread mails and texts, 

With things on his to-do list, he knew he would never check. 

Calls from dear ones, he wish he hadn’t missed. 

 A new message, a “meeting request”.

 

 Knowing it was necessary; He wondered, where could he fit this in? 

Striking off sleep, “Lets chat at 9:40pm PST.” he said.

Overwhelmed, a little worn out, 

He had a lot going on right now. 

 

It was a path he had chosen for himself. 

Self-made, with words of gold; 

With little or no time for anything else;

He clung to the vision in his head. 

 

I looked at him with concern and awe,

For he was more than what people knew him to be, 

A man of his words, and a boy of a kind,

A little goof ball, a little shy, a little crazy at times.

 

A phone went ringing, 

But he didn’t move or blink, 

With eyes fixed on his 13″ screen, 

He knew what he was doing. 

 

Louder now, it was my phone that continued to ping. 

A new message, 

“Requesting a meeting”. 

 

By Sonia Agarwal

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Inertia

I thought about thinking,

and then about not thinking.

I denied the accepting

and then accepted the denial.

 

The more I wondered, the little I understood,

The little I understood, the more I wondered.

There were questions and there were answers,

But they were no answers to my questions, no questions to give my answers.

 

For a moment I lost my bearings,

Where everything seemed less magical then before.

My eyes socketing in darkness;

People said I sparsely smiled and dropped my head low.

 

As I walked on the road I had not taken,

I barred the ifs and buts to flood the new void.

I walked endlessly,

too drained and too coy.

 

Clinging to my dusty sweater,

in a month where there was no need of it.

The road was getting rocky and beginning to dwindle too

But I asked my feet to continue to walk thru.

 

A eureka moment,

A burst of new thoughts,

Surprised, pleasantly ofcourse.

 

Change is  the only constant;

We all know of that.

Immediately, Inertia sets in place,

For there are a few things to which we get so dearly attached.

 

So continue to walk even on the road you don’t take for yourself,

This road may be cold, dark and rocky at first;

For inertia is a prerequisite to change;

We must know that the world will get magical soon again.

 

By Sonia Agarwal

 

The Red Moon

It was a little after dusk, when all else had settled-

The red moon hung in the dark sky- just like every night.

The absurdity of her colour was certainly stark-

For no one had seen her in this red before.

 

Shy, she tried to hide behind the clouds,

But the clouds were thin

and her sheen was bright.

She found herself too transparent that night.

 

Certainly there were questions asked,

But none that she wished to address. 

People had known her for another; 

In Red, she didn’t feel or look like herself.

 

But let this night pass by,

Excuse this hour from questions and remarks,

And let her shine in her ways

For she too hopes to turn white someday.

 

By Sonia Agarwal

(P.S. Sometimes, instead of battling the red color, we just need to accept its absurdity and focus on better things in life. Time will fade all colors…& Tomorrow will be another day… and a new moon will shine.) 

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O Dear God

O Dear God.

The diya is lit, the ghanti starts to rattle, and the elder most in the family takes the puja ki thali and starts rotating it clock-wise with all dedication and sincerity possible.

As the prayer enters the chorus for the second time, the elder most hands over the thali to another family member. We continue to sing, keep the diya lit, keep the ghati ringing, until every member has had the chance to say their prayers.

With my eyes shut, head bowed down, and my palms pressed against each other near my chest; I tuned off to the people around me rushing and humming the parts of the prayer they were unsure of. I stood zip lipped, imagining myself to be in front of God- no there were no faces, no idols, no photo frames, it was a feeling, a powerful one. I knew that this mental conversation I was having with myself was being witnessed by someone. So, what did I want God to hear?

Did I want to be thankful for all that he had given me? Or did I want to take on the selfish route like million others and ask for something more this year? I could be cheeky and draft my prayers vaguely and thus secure myself more grounds of happiness? May be I should ask for something for my family and friends? or for the less fortunate? But I felt unfair to take such a long list to God. 

My favorite had been, “O dear God, please ensure good health and happiness for me and people around.” But then I wondered, how I could make God responsible for my happiness? 

Only I was responsible for my actions and if actions determined emotions then I couldn’t hold anyone responsible for my emotions, other than myself.

Confused about what I wanted to tell him- afraid of over-burdening him with demands, I thought I’ll keep it short and simple.

I took the puja ki thali, taking an extra second to ensure I was moving it in the clock-wise direction. I shut my eyes, suddenly the room cleared out; it was now me and God. I knew he was there witnessing every thought in my head and the source of it. This year had brought me unimaginable love, buckets of tears, sky full of hope and trench deep falls.  

I smiled, and felt a smile in return. A million thoughts rushed into my head but none that got my attention; may be some stood out- but I let them flow along. 

O dear God, you have been nice, you have been mean; but I pray to have you witness my thoughts like now and always. Not sure what he said in response, but I know he witnessed it.

I see my God in the people around me. I see him in some of my family members, in the man I chose to love, in handful of my friends; I find my God in each one who means well and who gives me the respect, time and comfort to come witness my thoughts. 

This year, pray to find your God; and once you do find him, pray that he never leaves you.

Happy Diwali!

Chaushiva. 

 

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Lace Up

I keep seeing it, here and there,

Blurry, I see it everywhere.

Reminding myself to look the other way,

I warn myself to not fall weak-

Even scold myself at times,

Unusually silent- words fail me tonight.

 

I assure myself of the better,

A free minute is what I most fear.

For it’s hard to smile now, but we got no time to cry

So I lace up my shoes and continue with life.

 

God, I do have complains, but none that I wish to tell.

I do have tears, but none that I wish to shed.

I do have thoughts, but none that I wish to converse.

 

Yes sometimes,

“I wish that I could cry,

Fall upon my knees,

Find a way to lie- about something I’d never see”

But every time I do, I remind myself to find the “better part of me”

 

By Sonia Agarwal

Quote from: Superman by Five for Fighting.

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